I think part of the reason for my mood is missing people who are gone: Uncle Mike, Uncle Martin, Ganny, Mister Bob and also the anniversary of a miscarriage is right around the corner. I am also still decompressing from all the pain and stress from what happened with Dan. It’s that time of month and I am hurting plus the extra emotional bit to go along with it. This too shall pass, and I know I have so much to look forward to.
Melancholy
Melancholy n. Sadness or depression of the spirits; gloom.
That’s me right now. I can’t sleep. From 9pm till midnight I was so tired I kept falling asleep on Skype with Phil. Now 2:22 am and I am wide freakin awake. Some aspects of my life are awesome- I am losing weight, I have people who care about and love me. I am happy about that I really am, but right now I just feel like I am surrounded by a dark cloud. Maybe it is the season, maybe it is hormones, maybe it is aftereffects of the evil Flexeril I took last night. Maybe it’s just I am not used to good things happening so part of me is waiting for the shoe to drop.
Just the other day I said I actually looked forward to the future for once and it was and is true. I do look forward to the future. I think as I start making steps in the right direction things will be downright wonderful for me. Maybe it is the unknown, not knowing how long before my dreams can come to pass. I don’t know, I guess I am feeling impatient. Right now I don’t want to be responsible, I just wanna go do what I wanna do. I know I can’t right now, but the desire is there.
Sometimes I feel like my heart, soul and being have already taken off and are a long ways away from me. I want to go to where they are. *Sigh*
This probably makes very little sense, but my mind won’t slow down long enough for me to find the right words.
Sweet Potatoes
I am NOT a big fan of them, at least not the way I have been presented with them most of my life. This consists of either baked (which renders them sort of a cross between mush and slime and I am so bad about food textures) or the quintessential southern souffle topped with a ton of marshmallows. I do like sweet potato fries. I watched good eats and saw where Alton Brown recommended steaming them. I decided to steam them and make my own souffle. Unfortunately I didn’t measure, but here is what I did. This made enough for 2 people to eat as a side with 2 meals and still have a serving to send to Russ’s mom. I also ate 1 serving cold with whipped cream heh.
2 sweet potatoes peeled, cut into cubes
Mascarpone Cheese
1 Egg
Dried Cranberries
Pecans- some toasted, some not
Brown Sugar
Maple Syrup
Cinnamon
Nutmeg (fresh grated)
Coconut
Butter
Molasses
Salt
I would have added vanilla but I was out *sigh*
I couldn’t find my steamer basket so I put a wire mesh strainer over a pot that had a little boiling water in it and lidded it. How long depends on how big your cubes are. You want them soft but not mushy or falling apart.
I put the potatoes in a bowl and added a heaping spoon of mascarpone cheese, a few generous handfuls of dried cranberries, toasted pecans, maple syrup, brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, salt and molasses. (I would have also added vanilla at this point) I used the mixer to whip this up. Taste and adjust flavorings. Remember though that once baked it will taste a bit sweeter than raw. Then I added my egg while the mixer was going. Don’t overmix, you just want to make it a bit fluffy. Scrape it into a buttered casserole dish.
Mix butter, coconut (bout 1/2 can), untoasted pecans, brown sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg to make a crumb topping. Make a good bit. This was my favorite part hehe. Sprinkle this very liberally (more of a layer than a sprinkle). Bake at 375 F until crumb top is toasty and firms up. Everything else is cooked except the eggs when you put it in. I think I baked it about 45 minutes, but mainly keep an eye on it.
I know I am being vague, I made this as an experiment before Thanksgiving. But it should give a jumping off point at least.
I’ve been…
Absolutely awful at writing in my blog. I don’t know why exactly. I have some food stuff I have been meaning to add. I just .. meh. Things are going on and I guess I am holding them close to me, good and bad. I think this is going to be a skimpy Christmas, but the gifts I do give will be coming straight from the heart.
I’ve been more social in WoW and have made some new friends. It feels good to feel free to talk to people and help people without worry of snippy remarks. I have put in way more hours than I should lately just because it is nice to be able to do whatever I want.
I have been steady losing weight, which makes me very happy. I have added Hydroxycut to the mix just to try to jump start my metabolism a bit. I am not taking the full dose though, staying at the starting dose because I don’t want my blood pressure to rocket up. Being skinny won’t do me a lick of good if I give myself a stroke or heart attack. Phil sent me a bottle to try to see how I did with it.
If I ever manage to find my $50 rebate visa card I am getting my hair cut…short. The place I am going does personal consultations and customizes based on hair type and bone structure. I want something short, low to no maintenance apart from getting it cut, that emphasizes my eyes and doesn’t make me look like a boy. I am thinking pixie cut short.
Totally UN-Kosher (But Yummy) Matzo Ball Soup
This was an experiment, but it came out really good. I measured very little…as usual
This is what I used
Individually frozen Chicken breast tenderloins
Corn Starch
Dried Rosemary
Garlic Powder
Salt
Pepper
White Wine and Herb Chicken Broth
White Wine
Water
Matzo Ball Mix
Sour Cream
I think I used about 8-10 tenderloins. You could probably use less, there was a lot of chicken in this. I seasoned them with salt, pepper, garlic and rosemary, then very lightly dusted them with cornstarch. I browned them in olive oil in a skillet.
While they were browning I followed the package instructions for the matzo balls, except I added rosemary, garlic and black pepper.
I poured the chicken broth into a 2 cup measuring cup and into a pot. It was just shy of 4 cups of broth. I added enough water to make it 4 cups + 1/2 cup water, 1/2 cup of a dry white wine. I added more garlic powder to the broth and heated it to boiling.
When the chicken was nicely browned and crusted on both sides, but still a bit pink in the middle, I removed it from the skillet and chopped it into bite-sized chunks. I added the chicken to the broth…carefully, it splashed easily.
After the matzo ball mix had sat the 15 mins the package specified, I formed it into balls and dropped into the boiling broth. Then I reduced the heat to a simmer, covered and let it cook 30 minutes. After I removed it from the heat I gently stirred in 1/3-1/2 of a small container of sour cream.
This would probably good with onions, carrots and celery cooked in it as well, I just didn’t do it.
I don’t feel good
:< Woke up gunky and with an irritated throat. My grandmother is sick, so I may have gotten whatever she has.
Please – Staind
This is one of my top 3 songs lately…
And yeah “the f word” is quite frequent in this song.
Lyrics below
Long Forgotten Song
Abigail and I used to sing this song a lot. It popped in my head today.
And So It Goes – Billy Joel
Embedding Disabled…sorry Clicky Here
In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along
I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense
And every time I’ve held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose
But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break
And this is why my eyes are closed
Its just as well for all I’ve seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you’re the only one who knows
So I would choose to be with you
That’s if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you’re the only one who knows
Been Quiet I Know
Been a lot going on behind the scenes. Not going into all that yet.
WoW-wise I have been doing PvP and helping Dan on his hunter and then Dan with his Priest and Rugal with his Warlock that they play together. Hard to believe they are getting close to being ready for Outlands. I almost have all my marks. I think I need 35 more Alterac and I’ll have the 90 I need. Honorwise I still need like 60 some thousand. But once I get my marks I am just gonna do the battlegrounds I really like. I will admit Alterac is growing on me. I like it when it goes smooth but hate when there’s like 10 afk people on our side. Or all but 2 people on offense or defense.
I am going to get Lumi in a different guild. I love Kamikaze Runners but no one is ever on. I understand they have other stuff going on, I just would like Lumi to be in a guild where I can help people and so if I need another person for an instance it isn’t a matter of “Do you have any tanks/DPS from your guild on we can get to help?” *me checking guild tab* “Uhm no, I am the only one on.” Dan’s main is guildless at the moment so we are gonna find a good one for both of us to join together.
Dan awesomely helped me last night. He helped me work on Argent Dawn rep (such a GRIND) and helped me get the Crusader weapon enchant. I thought it would take forever to get, but it took like 16 minutes with his help.
Other than the stuff I don’t feel like talking about there isn’t much going on. Oh my bike should be here this week. So then I am gonna start biking the 3 miles to work.
Lumi Update.. BG & Epic Set
Well I am trying to get the Epic set for Lumi. I have done only battlegrounds this weekend. To get the set I need 65,250 honor, 30 Warsung Gulch marks, 50 Arathi Marks and 50 Alterac Marks. To get the staff and wand I need another 36,000 honor, 40 Alterac and 10 Eye of the Storm. Not counting the marks I need if I want a mount (30 WSG, 30 Arathi and 30 Alterac) . Oh plus if I buy gems in Hall of Legends…prolly need more lol. It all sounds overwhelming lol.
I currently have 10,611 honor, 21 WSG, 58 Arathi, 7 Alterac and 5 Eye of the Storm.
WoW BG Addict in the Making
Dan kept telling me I needed to PvP before Lumi hit 70 so I could get the gear at 70 because PvP at 70 is hard without the gear. I have always been pretty chicken about Battlegrounds. Until last night the only one Lumi had been in was the Alterac Valley Dan took me in.
Now I could really kick myself for not getting that minipet!!!! (Yes Dan, you told me so >.< lol. It's my fault and mine alone)
Anyway, last night he had a lot of homework and was urging me to do PvP. It took me over an hour to get brave enough to queue up >.< This time instead of running out in the open in Warsong Gulch, I went to our flag room to help defend it. Anything red that came in I blasted. We won. So I ended up doing another Warsong, 1 Alterac, 1 Arathi and 1 Eye of the Storm last night. We won them all. I had a major adrenaline rush, so it took a while before I could go to bed. Man once it started wearing off though I was crashing!
The Call to Arms daily today was Arathi. I queued up in Arathi and Warsong before work hoping I’d get in one. Ended up in Arathi and we won. I think I am getting hooked hehe.
Ergh
I wish I could eat anything other than soup without it feeling like it turned into a lead ball in my stomach. Haven’t posted lately it’s been a rough few days. Hopefully things settle soon. Keeping an eye on the storms in the Atlantic, Ike may be a problem a week or more from now. Not sure about Josephine.
I feel like I am constantly on the verge of an anxiety attack and today just has this very surreal feeling like everything is slightly off kilter or out of synch.
Lumine actually PvPed!
*faints*
I went to bed at like 9:30 last night and despite taking stuff to help me sleep I woke up at 1 am. I tried to go back to sleep and gave up after 30-40 mins. I logged on WoW and it was just in time to see Dan sending a mass whisper about raiding Southshore. I decided what the heck and told him I was on my way. Unfortunately it wasn’t a big raid…not many Alliance came, but he said there had been more earlier. It was still fun tho *evil grin*. I played Let the Bodies Hit the Floor while we were raiding. So then he said let’s do AV…so what the heck. We lost (so no dragon), but Lumi is no longer a BG/PvP virgin hehe.
Metal Gear Solid Series
Dan has been sending me links to music from the various Metal Gear Solid games. I love it. I haven’t played the games, but is making me want to. One of them is called The Best Is Yet to Come. That song is beautiful!
Lumine update
Well I just noticed my last mention of Lumine was June 29 and she was level 51 O.o
She is now 90% of the way to 67 …I took about a week off (well I would login and then end up spending most of my time sitting in Org or somewhere) and built up about 700k rested. I have about 200k left. so *maybe* it will get me to 68.
Enchanting is up to 301, Tailoring is 350. I did my spellcloth quest, I just need motes of fire and mana so I can make it. I have been finishing up Terokkar and questing in Nagrand. I got Miniwing…(purple and white parrot). I am gonna try to get into a BG and get the special dragon I haven’t done a BG with her at all so this may be interesting lol. I feel for the people I end up grouped with hehe.
Yummy Chicken
I baked some chicken tonight and it came out really yummy. Heres what I did:
Took a package of 4 skinless bone-in breasts and dumped the following on each one:
little bit of lime salt
1/4 tsp smoked paprika
1/4 tsp good chili powder
generous couple dashes of ground cumin
3-4 dashes of Tabasco Smoked Jalepeño (aka Chipotle) sauce
I rubbed that all over the front and back of the chicken then added some salt and coarse ground pepper. I drizzled it generously with Olive oil and baked it at 375 for about 1 and 1/2 hours. 3 times I brushed the olive oil over the meat and I covered with foil about 1/2 way through. I added more olive oil if needed and would flip the pieces around in it to make sure they stayed moist.
I Don’t Like This
I don’t like how I get/feel when my life feels like everything is uncertain. Something is gonna have to give and soon. So everyone bear with me…specially you Dan…you are the one I have gone into a million pieces with the most. I am sorry. I know I have been an emotional pain in the ass with all my mood swings.
I am so thankful for Diva and Dan and everyone else who has given me advice. And Peter…let me know if you and your family are ok. I am worried since you said yall have been having bad storms and I haven’t seen you in a week.
Tonic – Take Me As I Am
“Take Me As I Am”
I never knew my father
I never knew his pain
Or that an empty home life
Would break him down again
So when I feel like running I have to look inside
I want to find the answer
I want to break my line
Fear falls down like rain
And it makes me whole again
Fear falls like rain
Take me as I am
I’m not broken
Pieces of my life are not tokens
I want to let you know that I’m still learning
How to love again and stop hurting
I want to roll my darkness into a million suns
I need to find forgiveness when all the pain is done
I want to hear I’m sorry, I want to let you go
I have to find my own life, I want to learn to grow
Fear falls down like rain
And it makes me whole again
Fear falls like rain
Take me as I am
I’m not broken
Pieces of my life are not tokens
I want to let you know that I’m still learning
How to love again and stop hurting
It makes me whole again
Take me as I am
I’m not broken
Pieces of my life are not tokens
I want to let you know that I’m still learning
How to love again and stop hurting


