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Tis the season to feel so behind….

  • Posted on December 18, 2009 at 12:09 am

I have so much I need to do and I am just not getting it done as I was hoping. Good news though. Russ's mom sold me her portable dishwasher and after a major blonde moment with the adapter it is able to be hooked up. Now I just need detergent. Yay for dishwashing getting much easier and now having another work area.

My Family Christmas is this Sunday. I am taking spinach dip (just the traditional knorr), white chocolate fudge (satsuma zest, white chocolate, condensed milk, toasted almonds, dried cranberries), and broccoli salad. The salad is a hybrid between the one I am used to and the one John is used to. The one I am used to is broccoli, red onions, raisins and bacon bits in a mayo/sugar/apple cider vinegar dressing. The one he is used to is broccoli, cherry tomatoes and shredded cheddar in the same type dressing. I combined the two and left out the raisins. It came out really good.

I am making homemade goodies to give people as well. In addition to the previously mentioned fudge I am hoping to make date balls, double chocolate walnut biscotti, oreo balls, marshmallows, haystacks (butterscotch and chowmein noodles), forgotten cookies, rum balls and pistachio nougat. If the weather cooperates I may make divinity but really I think I am making more than enough sweets hehe.

John is on the road and I am missing him. I know he will be home tomorrow and I am so looking forward to it. I think we are gonna hang out with his family on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. I am not sure. Either way I have both days off so I am game for whatever. I am looking forward to Christmas this year. I can't wait to give John his present. I know he isn't expecting it, but I am equally sure he will really like it. He *better* hehe. I was torn on whether to go for it or not and decided what the heck.

In other news I am getting a tattoo. Jake is going to help me come up with a phoenix design I like and I am getting it on my left upper arm. It is to symbolize my healing and journey toward self acceptance. It is also going to not only cover the scars on my arm, but he is going to come up with a way to use them in the design to add even more depth and meaning.

On the 12th we went to Jake's wife Amy's graduation. It was a rainy day but we had fun. We all ate at Atlas in p-cola. The food was great and extra bonus points for the presentation. It just would have been a good time for me to suddenly love seafood.

OK I have no choice but to accept it.

  • Posted on December 9, 2009 at 11:54 am

 

No matter what I do or how fair I try to be I am going to be the evil bitch ex-wife to some people. I am trying to be as fair as possible about things. I am not being greedy about possessions. I am letting him stay on my cell plan and just give me his part of the bill. The only thing I put my foot down about was him moving out of Nanny’s and that was partly because his mom needs him and partly because it was time and because she didn’t feel comfortable with him being there after the divorce. I also knew John was coming with me to Thanksgiving and it would be awkward for everyone and hurtful for Russ if he was still there.

John….he is probably the main reason I am getting trashed to put it mildly. What people don’t understand, because I know I was closemouthed to everyone and I suspect Russ was as well, is things have been dead between us for a long time. I was sleeping in a different room over 2 years ago. I actually moved out of the room we shared June/July 2008. I told him shortly after that I was not happy and if things didn’t change it would be over. I am not going into details about what…that is between him and I. Things didn’t change. I emailed my cousin Sept 2008 saying I was considering divorce. I knew I couldn’t afford it at my current income. I started looking for other work. I spoke to my Dad who said I needed to have a lawyer to cover my ass. I spoke to a lawyer in June. I continued looking for work. I met and started talking to John online August 28, 2009. I told him I was married but getting divorced as soon as I got a job so I could afford all my bills. We started out as friends but it evolved. I found a job at a call center. I got back in touch with the lawyer. The writing up of the papers got delayed a bit because the lawyer had an accident and was on too much pain medicine to be able to do his job. The papers were finally signed and the filing fee paid in the beginning of November. So yes there was a bit of overlap there but we were in all ways (except for the fact we had the same address) seperated. If people want to tar and feather me and say nasty things about me for how things worked out…their perogative. The people who are close to me know the truth, know the hurt, know how hard it was for me to take those steps and know that the way things were…were killing me. Would I do anything differently? No. I was prepared to be the spinster in the family. I never expected someone as amazing as John to come into my life. There was no way I was turning my back on that.

Trying to Find A Full Time Job

  • Posted on September 23, 2009 at 1:26 pm

I have been working hard to find some kind of full time job. I need the income to be able to file. The limbo is killing me. I just want to be able to move on. Things have been stagnant so long. I have been going out to Bon Secour a lot and it has been awesome. Nanny doesn’t know quite what to think about me suddenly having a social life, but it is a good thing. I have always been more the homebody type. I have found though that it is one thing to choose to stay home all the time…but when you feel locked into it that sucks.

We may be going to BayFest. I am hoping anyway. It looks like there are going to be some good groups performing. If we do it won’t be this weekend, but the next. Last night after I applied for work out at the Tanger I went to Bon Secour and we had Chinese food and watched the House premiere.

 

Picture from Sept 13 before I went out.

The Update

  • Posted on August 7, 2009 at 5:00 am

I’ve skittered around what is going on. I have avoided blogging. I have said I will say something once I finally do it. I am tired of hiding behind it now.

I am filing for divorce. It is not working. There is no point in 2 people living in misery and being destroyed. I can’t file until I find another job so I can cover my bills, but it is happening. I don’t want us being enemies, but I cannot do this anymore.

Right now I am sick, getting over the flu, his mom is in critical care unit at Baptist hospital. She may be having surgery today or they may decide to try a chest tube first to drain the fluid and pus out of her chest.

There is no easy time to make such an announcement, and even though things are to this point between us, it doesn’t mean I am just gonna abandon him and his mom during crisis.

WoW, Life, Etc

  • Posted on March 27, 2009 at 12:58 pm

 

Things have been kinda of hectic lately. Nanny has a suspicious spot in her chest that they are going to have to test for cancer. I hope she doesn’t have it for a 3rd time.

I started playing an Alliance character on a PvP realm and it’s been great fun. The guild is great and so very helpful. They are a great group of guys even if Vent sometimes seems like being in a locker room heh. All the high levels have left Kamikaze Runners and joined up with Circle of Nine. I don’t know how I feel about it really. Yes I wanted our guild more active, but not necessarily wanting to be in a guild that huge.

Mav gave me a Tickbird Hatchling yesterday and I heard it sing this morning. *smiles* I love the baby murlock warble. Even though I don’t understand making a bird make that noise, I am not going to complain.

I started a cooking blog http://www.375-degrees.com I haven’t been in a cooking mood lately though.

It’s stormy today…I just wanna go sleep…

Lemon & Rosemary Glazed Chicken

  • Posted on March 9, 2009 at 9:55 pm

 

Chicken in the glaze

The bubbling glaze

 

The chicken before tossing it in the glaze

One of my most used seasoning blends lately

 

Will post details later :)

 

Braised Beef Short Ribs, Maple-Butter Mashed Sweet Potatoes and Baby Veggies

  • Posted on March 3, 2009 at 1:45 am

Thats what I made for dinner tonight but too tired to post details yet. Came out very good considering the ribs and the potatoes were me experimenting. My grandma enjoyed it so much she didn’t gripe about how late it got done.

I bought 2 packs of beef short ribs. Each one had 5-6 ribs. I bought a cast iron dutch oven, heated just enough olive oil to cover the bottom over medium heat. It takes a while. I dredged them in flour seasoned with salt, pepper, garlic & herb no salt seasoning and garlic powder. I shook off the excess flour and browned the ribs on all sides in small batches. After all the ribs were browned and out of the pot  I added 1 large chopped white onion and cooked it till soft. I added the ribs back in and  then I deglazed the pan with 1 box of College Inn Bold Beef Sirloin stock and scraped up all the brown bits in the pot. I turned it up slightly and got it bubbling, then put it back on medium and let it simmer for about 2 hrs. I tasted it and added a little more seasoning to the liquid. KEEP this leftover liquid. It makes an awesome pot of soup.

I poured some maple syrup into a small nonstick skillet and cooked it down till it was slightly thickened. I stirred in some salted butter, tasted it..added a little more butter, some nutmeg, a pinch of salt, some vanilla and some rum flavoring. While I was doing this I also peeled and cubed 2 sweet potatoes, then I steamed them about 15 mins. You have to watch them, you just want them to be soft. It does not take long. Once they were soft I put them in a bowl and used a hand mixer to beat them with the maple-butter as the liquid (Don’t over beat…it will become goop). I didn’t quite concentrate the maple syrup enough so I added some brown sugar, a bit of molasses (not much) and cinnamon to the potatoes as well. I also adjust the salt.

We also had steamed baby veggies. It was a mix of baby corn kernels, green beans and sweet peas.

Random Stuff

  • Posted on February 27, 2009 at 2:41 pm

Harry has gotten me hooked on Mafia Wars on Facebook.

Ever since Diva mentioned it on SoThere, I have been following the blog of a brave woman named Lisa who has been fighting cancer. Sadly she is now in the final, final stages. I am hoping for a sense of peace to pass over her and her family. I can’t imagine what they are going through.

Chicken and Broccoli Casserole

  • Posted on February 21, 2009 at 5:48 pm

Chicken & Broccoli Casserole

This is an "experiment" that worked and everyone liked, so I am going to try to remember how I did it. Measurements are guesstimates because I never measure when I cook, so use your own judgement on the amount of seasonings and taste.

  1. Cooking Liquid & Chicken
    • 3 skinnless, boneless chicken breasts, roughly chopped
    • 2 10.5 ounce cans condensed chicken noodle soup
    • 1 soupcan of water
    • 6-8 cloves of garlic, chopped (more or less to taste)
    • 1 small onion, chopped
    • 2 tsp garlic powder
    • 1 tsp poultry seasoning OR 1 envelope (.75 oz) "Amazing Taste for Poultry" seasoning
  2. Remainder of Ingredients
    • 8oz sour cream
    • 12 oz wide egg noodles
    • 1 bunch broccoli, chopped (including stems—small dice)
    • Salt to taste
  3. Topping
    • 3 slices sandwich bread, toasted
    • 1/3 cup parmesean cheese, grated
    • 1/2 tsp caroway seeds (optional)
    • 1/8 tsp celery salt
    • 2 tsp garlic powder (or less to taste)
    • 1.5 tsp onion powder
    • 1/2 stick (4 tbsp) salted butter or margarine

Combine soup, onion, garlic, water, garlic powder, poultry seasoning and chicken in a medium to large pot. Add just under enough water to cover if needed. Bring to a boil, stirring frequently. Cook until chicken is done and tender.

Add sour cream and mix well. Add egg noodles and cook till noodles are about 1/2 done and liquid is reduced. Stir in broccoli and add salt to taste. Pour into 9×13 pan. Cover with foil. Bake in a 425 degree oven for 35 minutes.

While casserole is cooking toast 3 slices of white sandwich bread. Let cool. Break into pieces and put in food processor. Add parmesean cheese, carroway seeds, celery salt, garlic powder and onion powder. Run through the food processor till fine crumbs. Dump crumb mixture in a medium sized bowl. Melt the butter and stir into crumb mixture. Mix until thoroughly combined.

Remove casserole from oven. Make sure noodles are tender. If not cook longer. If they are tender sprinkle crumb mixture evenly over the top. Do not replace foil over the top. Put casserole under broiler (or for electric oven set to broil). Watch very carefully and remove once crumbs are browned. It does not take long.

Lazlo Bane Overkill

  • Posted on February 20, 2009 at 5:36 pm

Found this lurking in my Gmail Drafts folder

 

Lazlo Bane – Overkill

I can’t get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
Perhaps it’s just imagination

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
It’s time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation

At least there’s pretty lights
And though there’s little variation
It nullifies the night from overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Come back another day

I can’t get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
It’s just overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away (x3)

Couple Food Things

  • Posted on February 12, 2009 at 2:10 pm

 

Russ actually requested salad the other night, which is rare, so I made a huge salad. I made it also including romaine lettuce, but i think it would be just as good without it. This is what I did:

1 bag of hearts of romaine

3 roma tomatoes (only ones that were decently red), diced

3 green onions, chopped

1 bell pepper, diced

1 English cucumber, diced

1 pkg sweet off the cob corn thawed under cold running water

1/2 pkg shelled Edamame, steamed 2-3 mins, then cooled

1 pkg diced oven roasted chicken breast

real bacon bits to taste

a few handfuls of roasted, salted sunflower kernels

 

I just threw all of that together in a big bowl and mixed it with my hands. I made homemade buttermilk ranch to go with it. It was good that night, but a lot of the romaine was eaten so the leftovers were mostly the other veggies and stuff. I just dumped a little ranch into the container and stirred it well and ate it and to me it was even better that way.

 

————————————-

Last night I was feeling sort of unmotivated to cook, but we had to eat, so I threw together a chicken and pasta dish rather quickly

1 pkg chicken tenderloins (probably about 10 or so pieces)

cornstarch

salt & pepper

garlic & herb no salt seasoning

olive oil

1 bag frozen broccoli florets

2/3 carton College Inn Chicken stock – wine and herb flavor or regular chicken stock, just use a little less broth and add some white wine and itialian seasoning.

1/2 a pound small pasta like radiatori

 

I seasoned the cornstarch, dredged the chicken, shook off the excess. Then I started the water for the pasta. I heated some olive oil in my electric skillet and added the chicken. I browned both sides of the chicken, then added the stock and broccoli. I reserved a little of the seasoned cornstarch to thicken the sauce if needed. I cooked the pasta and simmered the chicken and broccoli until they both were done. Drain the pasta, stir it into the chicken. taste and adjust seasonings. Mix a little water with the cornstarch that was reserved and add to the chicken and pasta, stirring well.

 

Grrrrrr

  • Posted on January 28, 2009 at 1:56 am

I rarely get pissed in WoW. Not pissed like I am right now. I was invited to 25 man Vault of Archavon, which I have done a few times with no problems as well as the 10 man version. Completely unorganized as far as groups and heals. We wiped 2 times. Both times I died early on because of lack of heals. Not that I am blaming the healers. They can’t watch 25 people, there were enough healers for there to be 1 per group where they only had to watch 4 other people IF it had been organized. I got kicked out because my DPS was too low. Hmmm rather hard to get high numbers when you are dead ya think? Meh whatever it just pisses me off and to add insult to injury mage gear dropped after they DID get organized. I am pissed and I guess a bit hurt. Stupid right? It’s a bunch of pixels. *sigh*

 

Update

  • Posted on January 27, 2009 at 1:56 pm

I am so behind on this.

I am now on facebook actively.

Infection cleared up and no surgeon. Yay! The scary part is the ER bill I got yesterday for $567.

I am working off and on on my site http://www.healing-within.net. I changed the look a bit and put stuff on the ‘About Me’ section. I have to research resources and then I will actually have a helpful site.

I really hate when people I love and/or care about are going through a lot or are sick and I am far away and feel helpless to do anything. *sigh*

Right now I am really wishing for a good night’s sleep. Last night was semi-better. I actually slept straight through 3 hours, and probably would have longer if Shadow hadn’t decided to get yappy. I got more than 3 hrs sleep, it’s just 3 hrs is the longest I slept at one time.

eh

  • Posted on January 9, 2009 at 9:04 pm

Infections suck. Especially infections that drain all your energy, require a trip to the ER, involve taking massive doses of antibiotics and result in spending the bulk of your time curled up in bed with a heating pad hoping you don’t have to see a surgeon.