No matter what I do or how fair I try to be I am going to be the evil bitch ex-wife to some people. I am trying to be as fair as possible about things. I am not being greedy about possessions. I am letting him stay on my cell plan and just give me his part of the bill. The only thing I put my foot down about was him moving out of Nanny’s and that was partly because his mom needs him and partly because it was time and because she didn’t feel comfortable with him being there after the divorce. I also knew John was coming with me to Thanksgiving and it would be awkward for everyone and hurtful for Russ if he was still there.
John….he is probably the main reason I am getting trashed to put it mildly. What people don’t understand, because I know I was closemouthed to everyone and I suspect Russ was as well, is things have been dead between us for a long time. I was sleeping in a different room over 2 years ago. I actually moved out of the room we shared June/July 2008. I told him shortly after that I was not happy and if things didn’t change it would be over. I am not going into details about what…that is between him and I. Things didn’t change. I emailed my cousin Sept 2008 saying I was considering divorce. I knew I couldn’t afford it at my current income. I started looking for other work. I spoke to my Dad who said I needed to have a lawyer to cover my ass. I spoke to a lawyer in June. I continued looking for work. I met and started talking to John online August 28, 2009. I told him I was married but getting divorced as soon as I got a job so I could afford all my bills. We started out as friends but it evolved. I found a job at a call center. I got back in touch with the lawyer. The writing up of the papers got delayed a bit because the lawyer had an accident and was on too much pain medicine to be able to do his job. The papers were finally signed and the filing fee paid in the beginning of November. So yes there was a bit of overlap there but we were in all ways (except for the fact we had the same address) seperated. If people want to tar and feather me and say nasty things about me for how things worked out…their perogative. The people who are close to me know the truth, know the hurt, know how hard it was for me to take those steps and know that the way things were…were killing me. Would I do anything differently? No. I was prepared to be the spinster in the family. I never expected someone as amazing as John to come into my life. There was no way I was turning my back on that.